Neighbores

Why is it that whenever I have neighbours, I can never seem to relate to them at all? Only last year, I had next door neighbours who were Irish. Now, before these cretins moved in, I was always against stereotyping groups of people as I had already had my fair share of stereotypical abuse on Habbo Hotel as I was asked time and time again that painful and awkward question due to my Scottish origins. "Your from Scotland? Do you wear a skirt!?" Yes, I do wear a skirt. I also wear high heels, suspenders and Hello Kitty! nipple tassels. Because that's what all of us Scottish people are right? Ginger, alcoholic, cross-dressing trannies... Gok Wan's got nothing on us.
These neighbours of mine though were never far away from calamity. Once for instance, I was heading out when I happened to glance towards my neighbours house to see black smoke billowing out of the living room window. I wasn't very worried however, as I couldn't smell burning leprechaun. It turned out that the woman inside had been cooking a meal and had fallen asleep, letting the food burn. When she realised that her house was full of smoke, the clever cookie decided to open the kitchen window instead of the door. There's that famous Irish common sense for you. I don't think I'm the only person who has issues with neighbours however...
I was up town the other day for the first time in a while and noticed that quite a few new shops had sprang up apart from the usual charity and gambling shops which is all that Dumfries Town Centre seems to consist of. One take-away in particular caught my eye. "Kebab Shop", the sign read in bold, red font. I think that other establishments should take heed of this barefacedness as it could prove to be of some use. For example, it would be a hell of a lot easier to locate the local "massage parlour". However, I then noticed that there was two boarded up shops seperating this take-away and the next take-away which had been called something equally as barefaced. "Kebab and Pizza Shop". If ever there was a game of oneupmanship, this must be it. I bet the owner of the "Kebab Shop" was furious. Coincidentally, the owner of the "Kebab and Pizza Shop" has gone missing and police are calling out for anyone who may have any information regarding the disappearance.
When I think about it, neighbours are just people we're forced together with once we take our place on the property ladder and are people just like me who should be tolerated and respected. Either that, or I should take a leaf out of the "Kebab Shop" owners book and have my neighbours disappear...

Tom
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